<< reddirtgirl is meaningless tripe, don't read it. >>
2002-09-18 - 8:38 p.m.

For some reason, this just depressed the hell out of me. It turns out that my life is silly and unimportant. Normally, this would not bother me at all, but seeing as how I'm starting work on Monday as a legal secretary, I'm a little bit afraid (for the first time ever) that it might be true.

Actually, the review is mostly good, and I'm kind of amazed that anyone could honestly think that online diaries---which are a.) free to the wired public, and b.) written almost entirely for the writer---are meant to be profound insights into the human condition. I mean, I could tell you what I think about the war in Iraq (terrible idea), or the train in Seattle (good idea), but who the fuck cares? I'm just a faceless internet thingy. If I had some REALLY good ideas, I'd probably get them published in a real journal of some kind, don't you think?

Sigh. I'm sorry to be caustic--I just feel very crazy and dislocated and oh-my-god-I'm-on-the-other-edge-of-the-continent right now. I feel tired and a little lonely, despite the fact that I am practically never alone. If I had gotten that review of this silly little diary a couple of months ago, I would have laughed it off and said, "Of COURSE it's lite reading. It's an online journal!" But right now, I'm wondering if my life really is as important as the rest of the world thinks it is--i.e., not that damn important.

In other, less self-pitying news (fooled the reviewer there--he said I never felt sorry for myself! boy was he wrong!), I got a kitty today! I didn't get to take her home, though, because she still had to be spayed. I realized that she had not been spayed already because they didn't want to waste a surgery on a cat that might have to be put to death. I felt like a murderer for not taking them all home.

I was going to get a kitten, but kittens always get adopted, and I decided to save an older kitty. Besides, that way the personality is all formed and you know what you're getting. My new kitty is pretty young--one or two--and small and sleek and delicate. She's mostly black, with white belly, paws, and chin, and she is the most love-love-lovey cat ever to purr. "Biscuit" won't work as a name, I think--she needs something more dainty. Ideas?

Thanks for reading, even though I am trite and forgettable. I appreciate it.

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