Thanks you guys. I've had my coffee and I feel better now. Probably I jinxed myself last night because I couldn't remember any of the badass racing names you guys suggested, so I went with Alabama Fire instead.
And this isn't the worst job I've ever had, by far. Here is an incomplete countdown of some of the highlights of my professional career, up to this point.
5. Summer of 1995: Deli in Nashville, TN.
On the face of it, this job wasn't so bad; I mostly just poured cokes and stood in front of about 6 microwaves, taking subs in and out of them. (Ovaries? Oh heck, I won't need them!)
What made it a nightmare was that the deli was on Music Row, so we listened to Top 40 Country all day long. Those of you who do not listen to Top 40 Country on the radio may not know that there are only 3 popular country music songs at any given time, which are played over and over and over and over, with the occasional classic Randy Travis hit thrown in for good measure. Excruciating.
4. Christmas season 1998: Fancy gift shop in Hometown, AL.
This might actually be the most painful job I've ever had, although it's not as flashily bad as some of the others. Basically, I had to pretend to be busy for 8 hours a day. I dusted spotless shelves for hours at a time. There is nothing more exhausting than trying to look busy when you really, really aren't.
3. Winter of 1993, Parking Attendant at a park in Hometown, AL.
Parked cars in the driving, freezing rain. I actually have kind of a happy memory of this one, because my friend Donna and I stood there directing traffic, soaked, and singing "Minimum Wage," by They Might Be Giants, because that's how much money we were making.
2. Summer of 1995, Factory Assembly Line, Hometown, AL.
Did this for a few weeks before moving to Nashville to work in deli (see above). Stood for 12 hour night shifts, putting together little tiny motors for power windows on cars. The surprise, as far as I'm concerned, is that usually these motors work.
1. Junior and senior years of high school, Chuck E. Cheese, Hometown, AL.
I was the rat.
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