Guess what kids? I've actually worked all day (inventory--riveting stuff!) and now, in order to fill the last 58 minutes of work time, I'm going to do one of those superdorky 100 Things About Me lists that are going around. That's right. You love it.
1. I grew up on a farm, with chickens and everything.
2. I still miss my farm. I dream about it sometimes.
3. My parents were divorced for 7 years, starting when I was 7 years old, but then got remarried.
4. Their second marriage is one of the happiest I've ever seen.
5. My brother is 23, and very handsome.
6. He and I disagree about almost everything.
7. I have a lot of bruises right now. I think there's some vitamin that I'm not getting.
8. I didn't have sex until I got to college.
9. The first guy I slept with was on antidepressants, so the process sometimes took hours, and not in a good way. I often fantasized about a good sandwich during sex.
10. It's gotten better since then, though. For the most part.
11. I'm really, really, really, really shy.
12. Really.
13. I'm homesick for everyplace I've ever lived, even though I love Seattle best.
14. I get seasick. I'm a landlubber.
15. I never remember anyone's birthday. It's awful.
16. I don't really like to talk about my feelings. I'd rather just armwrestle to see who wins, or maybe have a nice round of trivia.
17. I won the Best Reader Award in Kindergarten.
18. In the sixth grade, Chris Utter asked me to "go with" him during a game of Truth or Dare. I said yes, of course. The next time I saw him, he told me that it had just been a joke--hadn't I gotten it?
19. I have had four cats in my lifetime: Custard, Leon, Ezra, and now Neko.
20. When I was three or four my dad taught me the choruses to Cat Steven's "Moonshadow" and Bob Dylan's "Pretty Peggy-O" so that we could sing them to my mom (he played guitar and harmonica).
21. Once in college, my roommate wrecked my car and stole my money and moved to Rome.
22. I got all the mutual friends in that divorce.
23. Because of this website, I have a penpal (email pal) in Bulgaria.
24. He used to live in Seattle, though.
25. I've never kissed a girl, and don't have any desire to. I am dissappointed by my rampant heterosexuality.
26. I honestly believe that if Jake Gyllenhall just got to know me, we could really have something.
27. TV shows I have loved obsessively include: Northern Exposure, Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Twin Peaks.
28. I used to have about 15 holes in my ears, altogether, but I let them grow back in.
29. I think I've been really, truly in love one time. Maybe twice.
30. Lee is doing a cheer with my name on IM right now.
31. But now it's devolved into an Auburn cheer. Oh well.
32. I never met either of my grandfathers, and I am a sucker for sweet old men.
33. One of the saddest things I've ever heard is this line from Dylan's "Shelter from the Storm": "old men with broken teeth, stranded without love."
34. I'm starting to think I might not finish this before quittin' time, in which case I will continue it tomorrow.
35. I have been to exactly one therapy session. The shrink never called me back, wouldn't return my calls.
36. There was one year in my life when I thought about suicide. I never planned on doing it, I just fantasized about it the way normal people fantasize about sex.
37. The other day I found my (paper) journal from this period, and I felt really sorry for my past self. I barely recognized her.
38. I took many years of French, but now my entire French vocabulary consists of "Yes yes, I play the hockey!" and "No, I do not like the boys!"
39. The only show I would pay more than $50 to see would be a Pixies reunion tour. Possible runners up include a Smiths reunion tour, and maybe even Lyle Lovett if I could score a backstage pass and try to seduce him. Probably not, though.
40. I haven't drunk alcohol to the point of throwing up in so long, I can't remember the last time. College?
41. I eat meat, but I never cook it.
42. I had braces when I was 12, but I still have an overbite.
43. Once in the sixth grade cafeteria, I laughed and snorted chocolate milk all over Brian O'Neill, the cutest boy in school. My mom was a teacher at the school and she came over and yelled at me, thinking that I was a big enough dumbass to do it on purpose.
44. Later, I had my mom as my teacher for a couple of years. It didn't go all that well.
45. My dad used to take us to Birmingham Barons games when I was little, and I still love minor league baseball.
46. I went to Catholic Camp as a kid and hated every minute of it.
47. I really like dolphins but would never have dolphin crap in my house because it is tacky.
48. Although my apartment right now is okay--not outstanding, but okay--my bedroom right now is possibly my least favorite ever.
49. In college I won the Best English Major Award.
50. Fat lot of good it did me.
51. In graduate school I won the Best Essay Award. (see #50)
52. I eat a shitload of broccoli.
53. I consume one alcoholic beverage every evening by myself, no more and rarely less.
54. I miss smoking very much.
55. I'm not a big drug-user. I've tried most of your major drugs at least once, but none of them really stuck.
56. I've never had a one-night stand or had sex on the first date, but not because I think those things are immoral.
57. More tomorrow.
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