I just added an entry to my private folder, but I will go ahead and share the jist of it with you guys.
This is my problem, in a nutshell. I am a nice person, just like everybody else, but I am sometimes very thoughtless. See for example this. Mrs-R is not at all trying to make me feel bad, but WHAT KIND OF FEMINIST AM I? Jesus H. Christ. That is not okay. When horrible skeevy men say horrible skeevy things to your friends, the proper response is: "What a dickhead! Let's hang him by his genitalia from the light fixture!" The proper response IS NOT "You look pretty tonight!" I honestly didn't mean "You look pretty" = "Naturally, men will say nasty things to you." But still. Not okay.
I strive very hard to overcome my thoughtlessness, but it's not as easy as one might think; it's sort of like trying to have 20/20 vision by squinting, when you really need bifocals. I don't know what to do about it or how to fix it, so I spend a lot of time feeling bad about myself because I want to be a better friend, but I still miss many opportunities to be one. This causes a retreat into myself, further weirdness, and further inability to see beyond the end of my own nose.
It's a horrible cycle, and I feel that this diary isn't helping. It's all about me me bloody me, and even when I try to write about Not Me, it still ends up being about Me. So I think I need to take a bit of a break from online exhibitionism. I'll probably be back at some point in the not-too-distant future, but for right now I'd really rather pay attention to other people. Thank you for your patience.
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