<< I am scared. >>
2003-03-18 - 8:59 a.m.

I don't really know what to say about the war. The fact of it is so overwhelmingly frightening that right now I'm focusing on being disturbed by the administration's word choices, e.g. "Refusing to leave Iraq will be the last mistake Saddam ever makes." It's like we're all trapped inside George W. Bush's personal Dirty Harry movie. What grownup talks this way?

Here, in case you need one, is a sufficient reason for the continued existence of feminism. American machismo is poisonous and out of control; as a nation we feel the need to prove our manhood over and over and over again, and nothing but absolute acquiescence by the rest of the world will do.

Don't misunderstand me: I'm not blaming men. My brother is obviously no more to blame for this war than I am. I'm talking about the American ethos of masculinity, an ethos which manifests itself in this constant need to assert our will as a nation, and to call any nation that voices the slightest opposition, in essence, a big fat pansy. The French, according to W., hate Iraq as much as we do, but unfortunately they are wusses who do not have the "fortitude" to bomb the living shit out of a small country. Although I seriously doubt that W. knows what "fortitude" means, I'm sure someone explained the significance of this statement to him. You're either with us, or you're a beret-wearing, wine-sipping, cafe-frequenting homo.

And please do not tell me that I am being unsupportive of our troops. Every time someone says this to me, I want to say that if Bush ordered the troops to jump off the Golden Gate bridge, I would be equally opposed to this move. I support the survival of American troops. I have friends who went through ROTC because they couldn't afford college any other way. They do not deserve to be smeared all over the Iraqi desert just because they couldn't afford the skyrocketing cost of an American education. Of course, the men, women, and children of Iraq who have nothing whatsoever to do with any of this, don't deserve it either.

I am not the smartest or the most articulate or well-informed person to voice these opinions. The war will happen and there's nothing that I or the other several billion people who oppose it can do about it. This entry is just sort of a last gasp of despair.

My parents, who were Republicans all my life until W. was elected, seriously worry that our president may have set the wheels for WWIII in motion. I hope they're wrong, but I can't say that they're misguided.

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