I'm sure you've already heard of the Onion, and this is kind of old news, but it's oh so perfect:
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My high school boyfriend Punk Rock Matt, of all people, is coming to Seattle this weekend, and he's bringing some punk rock friend. They want to hit the vegan places and, knowing Matt, get really, really wasted. It's unclear whether or not they are staying with me.
I hope not. Two punk rock men, a librarian, and a cat are just way too many creatures to sleep in a studio apartment.
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