<< two punk rock men and a librarian walk into a bar . . . >>
2004-09-30 - 11:01 a.m.

I'm sure you've already heard of the Onion, and this is kind of old news, but it's oh so perfect:

LOS ANGELES�Executives at Atlantic Records announced Monday that multi-platinum recording artist Matchbox Twenty, which set sales records in 2000 for its mega-hit release Mad Season, has finally finished watering down tracks on its long-awaited new album Beige . . . The release has been eagerly awaited by Matchbox Twenty's enormous fan base, composed of American record buyers who have a limited interest in music but enjoy the act of shopping.

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My high school boyfriend Punk Rock Matt, of all people, is coming to Seattle this weekend, and he's bringing some punk rock friend. They want to hit the vegan places and, knowing Matt, get really, really wasted. It's unclear whether or not they are staying with me.

I hope not. Two punk rock men, a librarian, and a cat are just way too many creatures to sleep in a studio apartment.

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