<< physiological impossibilities >>
2003-07-30 - 8:33 a.m.

T came over for dinner last night. We hadn't seen each other for a while, and it was really, really nice to catch up and eat quesadillas and fruit and sweat in the dark on my porch while the water beaded up on our wine glasses. T is pretty wise, and also very fascinating because every time I go a few weeks without seeing her, she's lived whole lifetimes; relationships have formed and fallen apart, journeys have been made, new yoga positions achieved, etc. etc. Me, I just got some new plates that match. (They're nice. Green.)

[Note from real time: There is nothing worse than a snotty Summer Associate. You know, those kids the law firm hires over the summer? They are asshats. It's one thing to be condescended to over and over by full-fledged attorneys, but to be condescended to by girls my own age? Who have no sense of humor and think that they are God's Gift to the Future of Law? No thanks. Fuck off, Blondie.]

Our conversations helped me put a couple of things in perspective. We talked about this journal, for instance, and T said, "It's really more like a column."

"Yeah, but a very narcissistic column."

"That's true. But you're humble about it. You're a humble narcissist."

What a compliment!

So I got to thinking. (I'm still using Southern expressions in the wake of my parents' visit, can you tell?) I'm quitting this job on September 5th, and I think that would also be a good time to quit the journal. This little journal has done wonders for me in terms of getting me through two years of really, really tedious work with my sanity more or less intact, and I've met some lovely people, but I think that nearly two years of humble narcissism (incluiding my other, earlier diary) is probably enough. I want to be just the protagonist in my life again, and not the narrarator.

I wanted to go ahead and say so, because I think otherwise I might not let it go. I'm very attached to my little internet life, but I want going back to school in the fall to be a new start in more ways than one. I'll still keep up with all your adventures, but I think it's just about time for me to shut the hell up, for a change.

Having said all of that, you're still stuck with me for over a month longer, so don't throw the party just yet.

**

**

The monster is still in my backseat. (You're right, you're right, I know, you're right.) Assuming that I ever do get it inside (big assumption there), I'm kind of digging on red-wine's idea of decoupaging it. Television as furniture, taken to the next level!

**

**

I'm dressed super-slutty for work today. On anyone else, this top would be Cleavage City.

Also, I am considering saying "Buon Giorno!!!" to everyone here at WGSB, instead of "good morning," from now on. I don't know why I never thought of it before.

**

**

All day Monday I was pretty much losing my shit because I thought Danny was mad at me, and that is just about the worst thing I can imagine happening. He wasn't returning my calls or my email. Turns out he was just in Albequerque and had forgotten to tell me about it. He finally called last night and we had this conversation:

Me: I'm so glad you're not mad at me.

DK: I could never be mad at you.

Me: Of course you could.

DK: No, I couldn't. It's physiologically impossible for me to be mad at you.

Awww.

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