by rdg
1. Obsessive Watering of the Floral Arrangement.
Okay so there's always a floral arrangement sitting on the edge of my "desk." They bring a new one each Monday. The IT Guy has taken it upon himself to refill the water in the arrangement every single day--sometimes twice a day! I think this started as an activity designed to show me what a terrible receptionist I am for not taking daily inventory of the water level in the floral arrangement, but it has now become a full-blown-obsession.
Actual conversation we had yesterday:
IT Guy [armed with water to fill vase]: Look! The flowers drank up a full half-inch of water since yesterday!! Wow, they are really thirsty!!!
Me: Um, the water level is a half-inch from the top of that vase right now. If you fill it up anymore, it�s going to spill all over my desk.
IT Guy [spilling water all over my desk]: These flowers sure do need a lot of water!!!!!!
No, he�s not actually retarded. I just don�t know.
2. The Comments.
Usually, it�s my skirt, especially if I have on a fairly form-fitting one. But it�s not enough for him just to mention the skirt---instead, he has to go on and on about how I am a fashion goddess and I sure do know how to buy clothes that fit me just so, and if he ever gets a girlfriend he will buy her a skirt just like that one, etc. etc.
Yesterday, since I was wearing a low-cut blouse, these comments were directed towards the low-cut blouse.
3. The Way He Stands At My Desk And Rambles For Half-Hour Stretches About His Freaky Army Buddies.
4. The Way He Stands At My Desk And Stares At Me, Long After It Is Clear That I Will Not Be Drawn Into Conversation By Any Means.
5. The Other Comments.
So you�d think, from items 2-4, at least, that the IT Guy really liked me and thought I was great. But oh no! This is not the case at all. He thinks my skirts are really great, you see. The skirts. I, on the other hand, am completely deficient in almost every way. Unfortunately, I was preceded in my post here at WGSB by The Greatest Receptionist Of All Time, whose name was Diane and who, it seems, did every single solitary thing about this job in a better, more efficient, and just generally sexier and more appealing way than I do it.
IT Guy: You know, when Diane was here, she had this really incredible system for ordering the catering. It was really amazing; too bad she wasn't here to show it to you.
Me: [stony silence]
IT Guy: You know, I really miss the way Diane used to have all the office gossip. She was really in the know as far as what goes on in this office, let me tell you!!
Me: [type type type type-itty type]
IT Guy: You know, Diane always memorized everyone�s office calendar for the next full year and could recite it backwards, in Swahili, while juggling a stapler, two calculators, and a three-ring binder and also giving Big Asshole Boss a foot rub.
Me: [sinking into quiet desperation]
**
**
Birdgyrl came over last night and we watched �Queer Eye For the Straight Guy,� which a lady at work had taped for me and which I loved. I just love gay men. I wish all men were gay and that I was one of them.
Design by Soapboxdiner, modified by Red Dirt Girl.
Copyright � 2002-2005.