<< marriage shmarriage >>
2003-08-07 - 8:32 a.m.

I picked up my friend Johanna at the airport last night; she is in town for a family wedding. We went to Danny's for grilled salmon, and then she stayed over at my place. She is my college friend whose marriage of five years isn't going so well.

"Marriage, shmarriage," is exactly what she said.

She told me on our way to Danny's that Charlie moved out this weekend, because she asked him to. She says that she has finally reconciled herself to the idea of divorce. She's only 27, and she's so incredibly beautiful (knockout), brilliant (MS in physics, about to go to med school), and kind and funny. She is my friend and I'm biased, but if you met her you would think the same thing. Anyone lucky enough to be married to Johanna ought to be thanking his lucky stars every single day.

I didn't have any words of wisdom to offer, since I basically don't even date and marriage is light years outside my experience, but I did tell her one thing that I've been thinking about lately, which is this: All of that stuff that they always told you about it taking two to tango, and it never really being just one person's fault when the relationship falls apart? Is bullshit. That is the kind of bullshit that people tell themselves so that they feel like they have control over their lives, when they don't.

The truth is, people can just go completey crazy on you and do horrible things to you and there is really nothing you can do about it. And you can be the model wife or girlfriend or husband or boytoy or whatever, and it probably won't make any damn difference.

Johanna would say that there were things that she did that contributed to the situation, and I'm sure that, in a way, this is true. I mean, she was there, obviously. And maybe she should have seen this coming, somehow. But how?

I don't mean to sound completely cynical or anti-marriage or anything, because I'm not (although the evening was hardly inspirational in that regard). I'm just saying. Charlie needs a good spanking.

Anyway. As far as my own romantic life goes, I am sorry to say that I am seriously crushed out on someone I can never have, and it's getting me down.

Who is this mystery man, you ask?

John Goodman, circa 1988. That's right; I have the major hots for Dan Connor. We spend every lunch hour with him, and he's RAD. I want to marry someone just like him.

I'm completely serious.

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