You guys, I have a confession to make. I've been having secret sexual fantasies about Big Asshole Boss. He was in this customer service training session we had today and, well, I don't know what came over me. I just wanted to kiss his little red face and have him carry me away to the storage closet. Suddenly, all the things about him that used to seem so domineering and obnoxious were just--HOTT. You know what I mean?
By the way, I love customer service, and the training session we had today was awesome! There's just something about knowing EXACTLY how to meet a client's needs that fills me with a deep sense of fulfillment, like I've finally found my true place in the world. Every time I see a client now, I just want to lean over my desk and offer them a big fat blow job right there on the spot.
So, yeah. April Fools. The mandatory training session was not that quite that effective.
In fact, I am sorry to say that Lee and I were very, very bad at the "Connecting with Clients and Internal Customers" training session. The facilitator did not think we were funny at all. He kept saying a lot of stuff about laughter in the workplace and how great it is, but every time we laughed he fixed us with a cold, steely stare.
At the end of it all, we filled in a worksheet that said, "It is important for me to:" and you were supposed to fill in the blanks with all the things you wanted to acheive in your customer service career here at the Firm. I put, "Eat biscuits. Wear panties."
Unfortunately, the facilitator didn't ask me to read my goals aloud, but he did suggest that we get back into our team groups in a few weeks to see how much progress we've made.
So I've got that to look forward to.
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