Snowshoeing was really fun, except that it blizzarded, so we snowshoed on the middle of the mountain, instead of closer to the top. I'm not crazy about the blizzard. It's cold, and it hurts. If that's how it always is in Minnesota in the winter, then I take back everything I said about the rain. The rain is okay.
Then I came back to Seattle and ended up at a midnight showing of a 3D porn which was filmed the year I was born. Funny old thing, life.
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Lately I've been one big barrel of guilt. (Not about the porn. The human body is a beautiful and magical thing. And some things really are more interesting in 3D.) I sneezed a minute ago, for example, and I feel kind of bad about it. This is sort of a constant in my life, due to my Catholic upbringing and my own personal genetic makeup. But right now it's worse than usual, so I've started trying to figure out why.
Everyone has their own system of ethics. Mine, in a nutshell, is that since I can't necessarily control the outcomes of my actions, I have to have the best possible intentions whenever I make a decision. But with that comes the responsibility of making a reasonable effort to figure out why exactly I want to do something, and what the possible outcomes might be.
And I think I've kind of been neglecting that last part lately. I'm pretty impulsive by nature, which is fine in some ways because it detracts from the boring, but sometimes those impulsive decisions really aren't so great. I believe that, in the spirit of South Park, it's okay to do what I waunt, but maybe I don't always need to do what I waunt RIGHT NOW. I just don't think sometimes.
Which is funny, because in a sense my life is way, way overanalyzed. I mean, I keep an online journal, for cripe's sake. But still, I let myself get away with a lot. There are people in my life who don't get nearly the attention from me that they deserve, and I'm going to work on that.
I'm also going to work on getting more sleep, because I am as tired as a . . . um, you know, something really tired. That hasn't slept. In a long time.
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