I'm not dealing well with the Republican National Convention. Last night while I was cooking dinner I bravely tried to listen to a few minutes of it, partly because I always listen to NPR while I cook and I hate having my habits disrupted, especially by the GOP, and partly because someone I respect was recently talking about how terrible it is that liberals and conservatives have no respect for each other, and never listen to each other. So I thought I would be a bigger person and listen to what the monkeys had to say.
When I turned it on Kerry Healy (the Leiutenant Governor of Massachussets, if you care) was giving her speech. She said, and I'm pretty sure this is just about a direct quote,
"Senator Kerry is the most liberal representative in the Senate, more liberal than Ted Kennedy! He's miles outside of the mainstream, and he ebbs and flows with the tide of public opinion!"
Okay. Surely if he ebbs and flows with the tide of public opinion, then he's pretty much in the mainstream? Pick a disparaging water metaphor and stick with it, lady.
Later on Zell Miller said that Kerry would let Paris decide when America needs defending. Why not just go ahead and call Kerry a big fat faggypants with a little black beret, and get it over with? You know you want to.
Anyway, the whole experiment ended with me swearing at my radio and then sort of huddled in a corner of my kitchen, shaking. So I'm not going to do that anymore.
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