Last night the security guard told me that there was something in the back of the library that he thought I should see. This is never an auspicious sign.
So I followed him to the back, and he pointed out an older man who was poised over his laptop, fingers in mid-type, completely unconscious.
The security guard said, "I've been watching him for fifteen minutes and he hasn't moved a muscle." He really was totally still. He didn't seem to be breathing, and he was sort of a pale, purplish color.
I walked over to him and said, "Excuse me, sir."
Nothing. I moved a little closer.
"Sir?"
Still nothing.
"EXCUSE ME SIR! ARE YOU ALRIGHT!!"
When he didn't wake up after that I started to panic. I wasn't sure whether or not we have a policy for what to do when somebody eats it in the library. I mean, you'd call an ambulance I guess, but that's an Incident Report that I'd really rather not file.
Finally I screwed up all my courage and touched him on the arm, and he woke up. We didn't even have to call the coroner, so everyone counted the evening as a success.
And that, friends, is why we ask that you don't sleep in the library. Heavy sleepers freak us the fuck out.
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