A conversation with the Irish security guard at the library:
Me: How's your day going?
Him: Eh. It's all right. But a good day for everyone else is a bad day for me.
Me: How come?
Him: Because everyone else likes a nice quiet day with no incidents, when all I do is go around waking up sleepers.
Me: So . . . you'd rather there were fights?
Him: Sure. You can't mace people for sleeping.
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