I had the second surgery last week. Mom flew up again to take care of me (I couldn't stop her), and friends were very supportive, and once again, I got presents. Lots of daffodils, for one thing. I really like daffodils, and if you get a whole lot of them at once your house smells very nice.
So now you know.
When I went to see the counselor lady, she told me that I would learn and grow because of the big C. This was an idea that initially made me kind of resentful. I talked about this a bit with littlelloyd, who made the (I thought) hilarious point that when you get sick like this, a lot of people seem to expect you to immediately assume a serene expression, and for the sun to shine down on you and angels to fly out of your butt as you begin spouting wisdom about The Meaning Of It All. (I'm paraphrasing here. Lloyd's phrasing was much more elegant, and I don't think butts were mentioned at all.) My friends and family haven't acted this way but the counselor did, and I wanted to tell her, "It's not like I'm some corporate CEO asshole who neglets his wife and family. I'm basically a very nice person with good priorities and I don't think my life really needs a lot of re-centering. So fuck off with the Big Life Lessons, okay?"
But I didn't say that.
And now I'm glad I didn't because actually, I have learned something these past few months, which is that I really am very lucky because a lot of people love me. Hokey, but true, and really, really good to know.
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